Asshat

I’m fascinated with language.  Not in a “learn big words and use them properly” kind of way… that would require work.  I’m more interested in how and when new words and phrases enter our lexicon (I used lexicon, get over it).  I’m especially enamored when this newly created language is somewhat blue.  That’s right.  I’m drawn to the lurid glow of PG-13.  I thought I would have outgrown such juvenile joys by now.  I haven’t.  In fact, I hold the strong belief that no matter how old I get, there will always be a 12 year old boy inside me that giggles anytime he hears the word “balls”… regardless of context.

snicker, snicker…

To be honest, I haven’t heard a “new” cuss words in over 25 years.  Frankly, I think we’re tapped out.  I’m guessing it will take the discovery of alien life forms with bizarre body openings and/or mating rituals for anything fresh to come down the pike.  

In my younger days I briefly toyed with the idea of learning profanity in other languages… just to broaden my horizons.  The only problem was I couldn’t find enough trustworthy sources (there really needs to be an annex course at the local junior college.  Coincidentally, if anyone reading this knows someone from Rosetta Stone, drop me a line.  I have a great business opportunity for them).

The boxes are already made

But all has not been lost in this quest to expand my questionable vocabulary.  Fellow wordsmiths have gotten creative.  How… you say?  By taking existing dirty words and combining them with other (often innocuous) verbiage.  This “hey you got your chocolate in my peanut butter” approach to word building has produced interesting, and giggle-worthy, results.  Early examples of these gems include “butt munch” and “fart knocker” from Beavis and Butthead.  Mike Judge, I applaud you.

One of the more interesting combinations out there is the title of this post… Asshat.  As I mentioned earlier… I’m a bit of a forensic linguist when it comes to discovering the origins of new cuss words (okay, I didn’t really say that).  And I think I may have discovered the genesis of this one:

       Mitch: That was "have a pleasant and restful evening."

       Ed: No, that was "I like your ass. Can I wear it as a hat?"

-                                   --- City Slickers

You’re right.  I have no real proof AND technically they don’t use the word asshat in this conversation.  However, it’s my strong opinion that there was enough raw material in that dialog for any self-respecting delinquent to connect the dots.  Plus, I don’t remember hearing that term before the movie came out… so I’m declaring this a fact.  Take that… internet!

Because “buttcap” sounds too real

That’s all I’ve got for today.  If any of you have some cuss-hybrid doozies you’d like to share, please add them to the comments section below.  Let us all broaden our language base together.  Thanks for reading. 

Here’s one to get you started… douche nozzle.