Home Alone

I started this blog just over a month ago.  The main reason was because my wife said… “go write a blog”.  Not being one to search for hidden meaning in the subtext, I immediately poured myself into it.  Looking back now, I realize it may simply have been an attempt to keep me busy/out of trouble (the equivalent of handing me something shiny to play with while the grownups talk).  I admit… those concerns could be valid.  About a month ago I had just gone to part time at my job, and the prospect of me, plus free time, was frightening.  To be fair, I’d say she has history on her side.  My track record is spotty at best as evidenced by the following:

October 1998:  My wife comes home early from work to find me wearing only KISS makeup and shorts.  My explanation… it WAS the week prior to Halloween and I felt it was only proper to test the makeup first.  Plus, I didn’t want to mess up my shirt.  After the initial shock wore off, she grabbed our Polaroid camera (remember those) and took a picture of me holding one of our dogs.  I thought it was a hoot.  Again, I missed the larger point.  The picture wasn’t for our keepsake box… I’m pretty sure she was gathering evidence.

 “Exhibit H, your honor”

December 2001:  While she was at work and I was at home, I accidentally left the gate to our fence open letting all three of our dogs escape.  It also just happened to be the day we were waiting to hear some very important news from the fertility clinic.  Luckily it only took about an hour to find the first two dogs.  The third dog… a little longer.  The silver lining is that we GOT good news that day.  The rest of the dark cloud is that we got the news prior to finding dog #3.  I’ll always remember my wife telling the nurse over the phone… “yeah, that’s great, but I can’t find my dog”.

April 2003:  My wife goes on her first over-night trip after the birth of our first son leaving me at home to care for him.  Things went extremely well at first.  We played.  We watched A LOT of Elmo.  We hung out… like a father and son should.  When it was time, he went to bed without a problem.  Easy-peasy.  It was only after the third time he popped up from his crib fussing that I realized I forgot to feed him dinner.  He ate like a champ that night.  No harm, no foul.

I’m telling Mom

I could bore you with other examples, but that’s not really why I called you here today.  So, let’s move on.

The REAL main reason she wanted me to write this blog was because… she thinks I can write.  Plus, a blog is an easy way to get it all down and out of my system.  And, who knows… maybe somebody else will read it and like it, too.

Well, apparently that’s happened.  A couple of weeks ago I was contacted by an old college friend.  She had read the blog and wanted to know if I would be interested in writing some things for her company (i.e. for money).  Needless to say, I jumped at the chance.  And what’s even better, I’m writing educational material for a 4^th grade audience.  While that DOES mean I can’t write about my balls as much, I AM finally connecting with my intellectual peers.  Everybody wins.

So thanks to everyone who’s been reading this.  I really appreciate it.  AND, if anyone else wants to offer me money, or fame, or toys… to write stuff, you know where to find me.