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Back in the day as I sat in front of the TV with my young sons, I would dream of the future.  Not so much a future filled with soccer games or learner’s permits or ACT prep courses… no, no... I’m of a more practical mind.  Specifically I’d dream of a time in the years to come when we would watch TV shows featuring real-life, flesh and blood, humans.  You see, from the end of 2002 through 2009, if our TV was on… a cartoon was playing.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a HUGE fan of cartoons.  But by 2005, I was ready to smother myself with a Boppy pillow to escape the madness.

This show sucks…

Those early days were filled mainly by Nick Jr (then called Noggin) and hours of Go Diego Go, Little Bear, Moose A. Moose, and dozens of other mind-numbing, animated creations.  We learned and relearned our colors.  We counted and recounted our numbers.  We sang the damn alphabet song a million times.  It was almost enough to turn me off to TV altogether (I know… crazy, right?).  The only bright spots were the short musical interludes between shows featuring Laurie Berkner.  I don’t remember much about her except that she sang some catchy songs.  She was a real, human person.  And, she was bouncy.   Oh… was she bouncy.  But I digress…

Wait for it.

Now that my boys have grown older and the majority of our TV watching is of the non-animated type, you know what… I long for the good old days.  It’s not so much the shows.  True, we accidentally catch a random decapitation or an ill-timed boner joke during the seven o'clock hour… those I can handle.  It’s the damned commercials.  Honestly... how many people have mesothelioma?  Do we ALL have to know the horrors surrounding the transvaginal mess?   I'm afraid to take a bathroom break during the commercials due to the rash of questions that hit me upon my return.  "Dad... have you ever considered Cymbalta?"  or "Dad... are you concerned about your ereptile misfunction?".

I guess the moral of the story is to be careful what you wish for.  The good news is… Cartoon Network now shows Looney Tunes from 6-7pm every night.  If I can just get them to hire Laurie Berkner, we’ll be set.  Take that ereptile misfunction.