It's only just begun.

Where Do We Begin?

I know.  I should have made this my first blog post.  The pilot episode if you will… the one where I attempt to explain what I’m doing and demonstrate why you should give a rat’s ass.  Please forgive me.  I got excited about some ideas bouncing around in my head, so I just jumped in.  Also, I’m sorry.  I probably shouldn’t have talked about my balls without at least warning you first.  I’ve run into a couple of friends since then and the mood has been somewhat, let’s just say, sprinkled with discomfort.  And finally, I’m warning you… I’ll probably talk about them and other unpleasantness again.  Get used to it.  We’re all friends here.

Where it all began… 

About 15 years ago, I started writing a book.  Actually “book” is too optimistic a word.  It was more a collection of funny stories, anecdotes, and jokes I had developed.  It was very much in the vein of popular offerings of the time from the likes of Dennis Miller (Rants) and George Carlin (Brain Droppings).  With the small exception of… it sucked.  How much you ask?  How high is up.  I recently pulled out a copy to see if there was anything I could turn into blog fodder.  Pushing aside the timeless Kitty Dukakis jokes and the hilarious Adrian Zmed references, there were only two pieces that were bearable to read.  The first piece focused on breast implants.  It was funny.  It was raw.  It had a clear point of view.  But… I don’t think I’d be invited over to my parent’s house for Thanksgiving dinner if that thing ever saw the light of day.  The second piece was slightly edgier.   It involved a simple math equation.  A ratio designed to determine who your true friends were based on the number of times they’ve shit at your house in the last year.  Like I said, 15 years ago was an edgy time for me.  I'm not proud of it.  Let’s move on.  (Ironically, I’m now working on a similar equation based on how much I dislike my kid’s friends based on the same math.) 

So, I guess I’m back to square one.  Hopefully I’ve grown.  This time my goal is to write about things that affect me, and hopefully strike a chord with you.  Maybe you’ll laugh WITH me.  Maybe you’ll laugh AT me.  Either way… I’m good.  Plus, I feel Adrian Zmed is poised for a comeback.  And, when he does… I’m ready. 

Stick with me.  This should be fun.